Sorry about not having any updates this week; Our Hero has been out sick. Or something. We're not really sure.
Anyway, hopefully there will be more updates soon.
baby bench presses
Our hero was talking with a co-worker about the co-worker beginning to work out at a gym:
Co-worker: I wanna change up my workout.
Our Hero: Naw, man. You're still infantile with it. Next week.
Co-worker: I wanna change up my workout.
Our Hero: Naw, man. You're still infantile with it. Next week.
he knows word kung fu
Our Hero's response to a co-worker's comment about a conspiracy theory:
Ignorance is bliss. Morpheus said it best.
Did he even say anything like this in any of the Matrix movies?!
Ignorance is bliss. Morpheus said it best.
Did he even say anything like this in any of the Matrix movies?!
we're all over now
Two co-workers were discussing a sick daughter. When they finished, Our Hero responded, "She's in my prayers. I heard you oversaying it to [co-worker's name]."
Needless to say, we were overdumbfounded.
Needless to say, we were overdumbfounded.
it's an alternative thing
New variation on an old favorite:
He asked a customer on the phone if he/she wanted our 'alternative information' in an 'alternate format'.
He asked a customer on the phone if he/she wanted our 'alternative information' in an 'alternate format'.
it's a capricorn thing
So, Our Hero (OH) had the following conversation with another Co-Worker (CW):
CW: So when I go to the gym....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: So when I go to the gym....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
CW: Oh no....
OH: I know....
the words, so far....
So, here are some of the things that my co-worker has said to other co-workers, on the phone to customers, and/or entered in customer's permanent files.
Up to today, here is what he has said:
Up to today, here is what he has said:
- I can only overstand what you are saying. I don't understand, I can only overstand.
- The first step is what you enacted here today.
- Would you like that in large print or audio tape, or would you like that in our traditional format? (Meaning regular-sized, 12pt font.)
- An "unpivotable' moment.
- Referred to our information packs as "quick merandum" (sic).
- I educated the agency about the cancellation. (Entered into a customer's file.)
- When informing a customer about the fare for a ride to an interview, he called it a "$2.00 service charge. Both ways for a $4.00 total service charge."
- As he was talking about an upcoming football game, he referred to some friends of his who liked either team as "parliament."