Chakra Khan

Our Hero (out loud): My flesh controls my chakra. Can I get an amen? My flesh controls my chakra. Can I get an amen?

you can't get there from here

Our Hero was wondering if Audubon Avenue in Jersey City, NJ was the same Audubon Avenue in New York City, NY.

Jersey City is point 'A' and New York is point 'B'. Also, they run perpendicular to each other. The one in Jersey City runs East-West, the one in New York runs North-South:


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safety first

After explaining to Our Hero on why we have to wear fluorescent vests when out in the region offices, he responded, "Got it. It's 'uniformal'".

iron man

When discussing with some co-workers about who likes and dislikes meatloaf, Our Hero ran around to the other side of the cubicle and said: 'My stomach is titanium thick.'

How thick is titanium anyway?

far away and yet not so far

So Our Hero has been moved to another cubicle area in our department. Unfortunately, this means that I cannot hear what he says to anyone. Fortunately, I have co-workers that can and who report his mastery of the English language to me.

Here are two from the past week:

"That a negative perception of misunderstanding someone."

"Misaccurately portrayed."

What's really embarrassing is that my co-worker and I knew 'misaccurately' was wrong, but we couldn't think of 'inaccurate' as the correct word.

Whoops....

local service is soooo routine

I was out of work today but a faithful co-worker sent me a text message stating that Our Hero is now referring to our local bus service as a 'routine bus'.

Oh, the agony.

drunk with words

Our Hero described someone who had a stroke and is nonverbal as someone 'who is that inebriated to be unable to speak'.
---v.