safety first

After explaining to Our Hero on why we have to wear fluorescent vests when out in the region offices, he responded, "Got it. It's 'uniformal'".

iron man

When discussing with some co-workers about who likes and dislikes meatloaf, Our Hero ran around to the other side of the cubicle and said: 'My stomach is titanium thick.'

How thick is titanium anyway?

far away and yet not so far

So Our Hero has been moved to another cubicle area in our department. Unfortunately, this means that I cannot hear what he says to anyone. Fortunately, I have co-workers that can and who report his mastery of the English language to me.

Here are two from the past week:

"That a negative perception of misunderstanding someone."

"Misaccurately portrayed."

What's really embarrassing is that my co-worker and I knew 'misaccurately' was wrong, but we couldn't think of 'inaccurate' as the correct word.

Whoops....

local service is soooo routine

I was out of work today but a faithful co-worker sent me a text message stating that Our Hero is now referring to our local bus service as a 'routine bus'.

Oh, the agony.

drunk with words

Our Hero described someone who had a stroke and is nonverbal as someone 'who is that inebriated to be unable to speak'.
---v.

it's friendly mail

Supervisor (to Our Hero): You can open any mail addressed to me unless it says 'private' on it.

Our Hero: I got you. It's personable. I got you.

guest speaker

So a co-worker who is not our hero said this to Our Hero:

co-worker: I'm doing that tomorrow like it was yesterday.

me: Ummm...what now?

co-worker: Like it was yesterday means really quickly. You know urgently.

me: Yeah, I know what it means. But the way you said it, it means you're gonna do it today. Tomorrow's yesterday is today. So why not just do it today?

co-worker: Cause I just don't have time today. So I'll do it tomorrow like it was yesterday.